puke, poo, and painkillers

How is that for a title?

Seriously feels like that can sum up my past days so well.  Seems like I'm always cleaning up Holly's puke, Mosey's poo (or trying to get him to poo on the potty) and I'm always popping some painkillers!

I am however feeling much more like myself!  Still struggling with back pain but I definitely don't feel as emotionally out of control anymore.  This is a good thing!  I'm crying a lot less.  Yeah!  I just need to somehow be able to live with this pain in my back and not panic when it strikes.  I can still be a good mother even with back pain.

So as you may have guessed I've started potty training moses again.  I tried this months ago and he wasn't ready.  This time it is way easier.  A lot less accidents, but it still feels like a lot of work : ) This time he was motivated by his friend Hannah who came over wearing her undies.  I think this intrinsic motivation has made all the difference.  I can't believe I kept trying for so long before when I now know he really wasn't ready.

Okay, I must go rest while my two kids are both sleeping at the SAME TIME!!!  woohoo!

"Waiting to Belong"

No confesssional today!  Can't think of one.  But I saw this video on another blog and had to share it.  This little boy melted my heart.  There are so many children in Canada waiting for forever homes....

And I am SO happy to know that dear friends of mine have just become foster parents to a sweet baby boy.  Hopefully in the near future they will be the legal parents.  So far everything looks like this will be the case.  It truly is a miracle!  Congrats A & K.  

I confess...

that I didn't post last friday b/c it was such a hard day and I almost didn't post again due to the same reason.... but now that the kids are in bed and I'm eating skittles and I think I can gather the energy to do this!!!

I confess that I really knew nothing about St. Patrick until this St.Patrick's day when my sister planned an amazing story time with our kids.  Wow, he is an amazing man.  I encourage you to learn something about who he is!

I confess that I went off of facebook for lent!  So far so good : )

I confess that I did log onto facebook through my husband's account to check on my Japanese friends and make sure they were okay after the earthquake.

I confess I did a bit of facebook snooping after that, but found it rather boring and empty.

I confess that my self-talk is rather horrible.  I would never speak this way to my friends, yet I do to myself.  Hm.... must work on this.

I confess that I think my anti-depressants are starting to work???  Or maybe it is just the day-light savings and the fact we have had sunshine lately.


Here are a few photos.  I think its been awhile since I added any to this blog.

Confession Friday

I confess that Holly went to bed in a dress and tights the other night.  By the time I realized at midnight I didn't care to change her.  Plus it was kinda cute seeing her all dressed up in the morning.

I confess that I never was a morning person but I think it is safe to say that I absolutely detest them now.  Pain is always worse in the morning, I don't enjoy breakfast food, and I often feel really overwhelmed.

I confess that I don't enjoy eating with my toddler.  I feel bad, but it's the truth.

I confess that at my last midwife appointment we both realized that I have PPD.  I wasn't going to post about it here but after reading Rana and Tova's post this past week I realize that it is good to be honest.  Plus that's what I want these confessionals to be about.  After seeing my GP this week he immediately recommended I go on an anti-depressant and some stronger drugs for my back pain (this is most likely a huge contributor to feeling depressed).  It'll take awhile to be in full effect and so far I just feel all the negative side affects so I can't say I'm feeling any better.

I confess that I lied to my midwife at all my follow ups on how I was doing.  After crying the entire way there they would ask me how I was and I would smile and say "good".  This is very silly.  Don't ever do this if you are in this situation.  Then I would cry the whole way home and continue telling myself that I will feel better.  But Holly's two months and I'm still on a crazy emotional roller coaster.

I confess that I hide lots of type A friends on facebook.  You know the one's that go on and on about how much they can accomplish in a day all the while taking care of their amazing children?  I know it's my own issue, but I can't handle hearing how amazing people are right now when I can barely have the strength or energy to do the dishes.  Speaking of facebook, I really don't think I should use it anymore. I'm just so addicted I don't know how I will stop.