November 8, 2010

pregnancy update

Well, I still haven't come up with a name for a new blog so I will post a bit more here.  I also don't have a lot of energy lately to think of starting a new blog anyways.

Since I last posted about my back things have gotten worse.  Basically every week my pain has increased.  In some ways I was getting used to the new level of pain but a week ago it got really bad and I could no longer drive or stand for longer than a minute without excruciating pain.  And so my new life on the couch began....  and then just when I thought the pain couldn't get worse it did.  Spasms so bad I could barely breathe and I ended up going to the ER this last Friday.  After having to yell at the doctor so that he would clue in this wasn't the average pregnant women's back pain I finally got admitted into the maternity ward and it took a couple of days to get my pain "under control."  I'm feeling a lot better and am home now.  But the only reason I feel better is that I'm on morphine, tylenol, and muscle relaxants around the clock.  So I still can't do anything as I am completely exhausted and the second the drugs start to wear off all the pain comes back immediately.

I'll be talking to my midwife this week and possibly having a transfer of care to an OB to look into the possibility of a c-section.  I have no physical strength and can't imagine pushing a baby out when I'm already in physical pain right now.  There are so many times in the day when the pain hits me that I am literally doing deep breathing, or rocking on my hands and knees and it looks like I'm already in labour!

I know this will all be worth it but let's just say life is a real challenge right now.  Especially being a mom to Moses.  I can't do anything right now so I either have a friend or family member over at the house helping me and taking care of Moses or Moses goes out for the day with them.  I miss going for walks to the park with my boy.  I hate that I snap at him all the time when I'm in pain.  But I have to keep reminding myself that no one remembers what life was like when they were two right???

I'll end with something happy.  A picture of Moses on Halloween.

There is so much more I could say but it is mostly depressing or negative which I don't like to be!  Let's just say I'm not exactly the happiest glowing pregnant women!  Sometimes I have to remind myself that there is a baby coming.  I am so consumed with surviving the day, or the moment.  I haven't even thought about getting stuff ready for a newborn!

So there it is.  My update.  Hopefully only 7 weeks left till we meet this little one!