Merry Christmas!

So I guess I never did get back around to blogging again!

Just thought I'd quickly wish you all a very Merry Christmas and let you know that I am sticking with the c-section on the 29th.  I'm so nervous but feel like it was the right decision wish the baby confirmed to be posterior and my back pain only increasing.  I can't wait to get this baby out and meet him or her!

I'll leave you all with a quote that I put in my Christmas cards this year:

“God came to us because he wanted to join us on the road, to listen to our story, and to help us realize that we are not walking in circles but moving towards the house of peace and joy. This is the great mystery of Christmas that continues to give us comfort and consolation: we are not alone on our journey. The God of love who gave us life sent his only Son to be with us at all times and in all places, so that we never have to feel lost in our struggles but always can trust that he walks with us.

The challenge is to let God be who he wants to be. A part of us clings to our aloneness and does not allow God to touch us where we are most in pain. Often we hide from him precisely those places in ourselves where we feel guilty, ashamed, confused, and lost. Thus we do not give him a chance to be with us where we feel most alone.

Christmas is the renewed invitation not to be afraid and to let him -whose love is greater than our own hearts and minds can comprehend - be our companion."

-Henri Nouwen

Finally December and feeling thankful!

I love December.  And really, I am just SO SO glad November is over.  It was horrible!  I honestly don't know how I would've gotten through the last few weeks without my family, friends, and our church.  So many people have brought us meals, helped out with Moses, and come over to just keep me company while I have been stuck at home.  The last week I have had a lot less back pain and I am so thankful.  I still can't do a whole lot.  For instance, I tried to run one errand for the first time in a month (go to the bank) and it took a lot out of me and I needed to lie down for awhile when I got home.  Standing and driving seem to be the hardest.  It's hard to believe a month ago I was walking an hour a day and going to aqua-aerobics.... even cooking and cleaning.  Now, I feel useless!  But I see a light at the end of the tunnel and that is helping.

Oh and this light is currently December 29th.  I booked a c-section.  Eek!  I'm terrified of the whole needle in the spine cutting me open thing, especially since my spine is so twisted and I'm scared they are going to leave me with nerve damage.  Of course, when I have a "good day" pain wise I start to think that maybe I could do it and consider cancelling the surgery.  So who knows what will happen in the coming weeks.  Part of me is really sad that I will miss out on the birth experience.  I know I will only be doing this once and I wonder if I could handle being pregnant for possibly 7 MORE WEEKS if I cancel the surgery.  Hm.....

But then this morning I woke up with more muscle spasms and thought there was no way I can do this for even 3 more weeks!

Anyways, thanks for all of your encouraging comments on my last post.  I don't think I have posted much for belly photos on this blog so here is my most recent one at 34 weeks.  I think this was my first day going out of the house to something not medically related so I actually put make up on!

I LOVE seeing how excited Moses is for his brother or sister to come.  It motivates me to keep on going.  Every day he talks to the baby, hugs it, sings songs to it, and sometimes lifts my shirt and tells baby to watch some of his dance moves.  He even tries to feed it cheerios.  I can't wait to see him take on the role of big brother.

This is a picture of my amazing friend Dana and her daughter and her brand new baby boy!  She has been coming over and bringing me food, cleaning for me, and taking Moses out of the house for me!  I don't know how she does it.  I should be doing this for her right now, but she is somehow able to do this for me even though she just had a baby a couple of months ago!

There really are so many people in my life right now that are taking care of me and my family and I am not sure how I could do this without them.  One of my friends even became my own personal shopper and got ALL of my newborn baby supplies for me!  Moses would lose his mind too if he was stuck inside all day so I am sure he says a big thank you to all for getting him out of the house.  It's easy for me to get down if I think of all the things I'd like to be doing at this time of year (shopping, baking, fun xmas-y events, etc) but I am trying to be thankful for the days and moments where I am able to do something simple and fun at home.  Like eat junk food on the couch and cuddle with my sweet boy while watching Elmo for the millionth time!

We had snow for a few days which was so fun!  I love snow and my sweet sister brought out my heating pad for me so I could sit on the patio and be able to watch Moses and his cousin play for awhile.  It's small gestures like that that mean the world to someone who is in pain.  

  Happy Advent everyone!  I will try to post more but we'll see...