4am

Well, it seems another month has past since I posted.  Crazy.  I know some of you have been asking for an update on the pregnancy.... I honestly just don't know what to say.  Should I lie?  candy-coat it?  say that it is amazing?  Honestly, it's brutal right now.  In fact, it's 4am as I type this.  My new time to wake up and hopefully walk around the living room so that my back won't go into spasms if I continue to lie awake in bed.

I'm already counting down and I'm only 23 weeks.  I believe that if I wasn't in so much physical pain I wouldn't be saying this.  I'd be enjoying all the little kicks and walking around feeling great minus the usual pregnancy discomfort.  But it's hard to feel great when every day is a physical struggle from the moment you wake up.  So that is where I am at.  Back pain is getting worse each week which of course has me filled with lots of fear and anxiety.  It's already difficult to do many simple household chores (cooking, cleaning, etc).  So I am secretly imagining what it would be like to be wealthy and have a nanny.  I honestly don't know what I am going to do if the pain gets worse from here.  I've already turned into the candy bribing short-fused mom that I don't want to be.  But really, I don't have much choice at the moment.