4am
Well, it seems another month has past since I posted. Crazy. I know some of you have been asking for an update on the pregnancy.... I honestly just don't know what to say. Should I lie? candy-coat it? say that it is amazing? Honestly, it's brutal right now. In fact, it's 4am as I type this. My new time to wake up and hopefully walk around the living room so that my back won't go into spasms if I continue to lie awake in bed.
I'm already counting down and I'm only 23 weeks. I believe that if I wasn't in so much physical pain I wouldn't be saying this. I'd be enjoying all the little kicks and walking around feeling great minus the usual pregnancy discomfort. But it's hard to feel great when every day is a physical struggle from the moment you wake up. So that is where I am at. Back pain is getting worse each week which of course has me filled with lots of fear and anxiety. It's already difficult to do many simple household chores (cooking, cleaning, etc). So I am secretly imagining what it would be like to be wealthy and have a nanny. I honestly don't know what I am going to do if the pain gets worse from here. I've already turned into the candy bribing short-fused mom that I don't want to be. But really, I don't have much choice at the moment.
I'm already counting down and I'm only 23 weeks. I believe that if I wasn't in so much physical pain I wouldn't be saying this. I'd be enjoying all the little kicks and walking around feeling great minus the usual pregnancy discomfort. But it's hard to feel great when every day is a physical struggle from the moment you wake up. So that is where I am at. Back pain is getting worse each week which of course has me filled with lots of fear and anxiety. It's already difficult to do many simple household chores (cooking, cleaning, etc). So I am secretly imagining what it would be like to be wealthy and have a nanny. I honestly don't know what I am going to do if the pain gets worse from here. I've already turned into the candy bribing short-fused mom that I don't want to be. But really, I don't have much choice at the moment.
posted by emily at
4:17 AM
17 Comments:
Hey Em,
I am sorry to hear that the pain is getting worse. That's not good at all. I wish I could take it away. Hang in there sweets. One day at a time. We will continue to pray for you. Love you lots and hope today you feel a little better.
:)
Nomi
Oh Emily!
I am sorry you are experiencing so much pain.
I never thought pregancy would be easy...it is a huge transformation of your body phsically and emotionally.
Thinking of you and hoping the coming weeks are better
Aw Em, sorry to hear it's getting worse and worse. You are such a trooper, never complaining. I hope Mosey is giving you a bit of a break, and Mike is taking most of the legwork this weekend so you can have a break!
Oh Emily! I am SO sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you over the last few weeks and all the pain that you're experiencing with your back. It is NOT enjoyable to be in pain everyday. I wish there was something I could do to help...
I will be praying that you find peace and joy in the moments where your back isn't hurting.
Love you.
Bonnie
I'm so sorry Emily :( I wish you were able to enjoy this more. I am thinking of you. If there is anything we can do, let me know!
Praying for you. I know it's tough w/ a little one running around - and it must be that much harder when you're physically in pain.
Hang in there.
maybe we can have a fundraiser for a cleaning service? or get people to sign up for various jobs to help you, such as taking Moses to the park, cleaning the bathrooms,etc. etc.....
this too shall pass is about all I can think of to say!
in the meantime, thanks for being honest and let's see if your community of family and friends can help take care of you during this difficult time :)
Hi,
I had horrible pain when I was pregnant too, and the one and only thing that helped me was seeing a Craniosacral massage therapist. There's an amazing one here in Van, and she is a life saver.
I'm sorry that this is your experience, it sucks, doesn't it. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
Tova
btw, it might be time for a new blog name....
There you are friend! Wondering how you have been. And now I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I guess I can give you all the pathetic lines we hear in adoption like "it will be all worth it in the end", "good things come to those who wait", "this is what you signed up for", etc. BLAH BLAH BLAH, but if you are anything like me this does not make anything better...only more frustrated.
So instead I offer you a (((hug))) and if I lived closer I'd offer to take Moses for an afternoon or two.
Take care of yourself and rest when you can (how's that for advice?)
Laura
Just thought about what I wrote - I hope I did not come across as unsupportive. I was actually trying to get a smile from you, as I'm sure you can relate to all those awful lines.
Yikes! Sorry to hear about your back. I had some lower back pain when I was pregnant. It was when I sat for too long and got up but it would quickly work itself out. If it didn't I wouldn't have known how to get through each day. I hope you can find some help for this because giving birth is painful enough, you don't need to be in pain while you are pregnant.
Janice
Em, you will get through this. I am sorry it is so difficult for you. Perhaps we will need more of our get-togethers like the one we just had ;)
You know I am here for you! Make use of me... I work but I still have time! I would love to take Mosey out whenever I can help you get a few minutes to yourself. - Let me know!
Jill xoxo
Emily! ugh. The whole thing sucks, really. I hate it that this is happening to you and getting worse. Please, please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I really want to help. Moses is always welcome to come play with my boys for the afternoon although I know we are somewhat of strangers to him! I would love to help you out however I can (I am a great cleaner...:) call me anytime. Love Erin L.
I hope that you get some relief from the pain soon. What are the doctors saying? I also hope you can get some sleep. It's pretty hard to be a mom who has patience for her toddler when you haven't had much sleep and are in pain.
Aaw, I am sorry to hear you're in such physical pain, Emily. I hope it passes soon so you can enjoy these last weeks of pregnancy and nesting before your sweet bun comes out of the oven.
"You know those days when you've got the mean reds.... the blues are because you're getting fat or maybe it's been raining too long. You're sad, that's all. But the mean reds are horrible. You're afraid and you sweat like hell, but you don't know what you're afraid of. Except something bad is going to happen, only you don't know what it is." -Holly Golightly
Emily, my dear cousin, I live a half hour away, if you need a day of aquatics, massage and accupuncture, call me and I can come and play with mosey or bring him along with my gang, even throw Zelda in to... BTW I love this quote and is so applicable to every day life.. it doesn't help it is my fave movie. HUGS (())
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