Thoughts on adopting again
I've kept this blog pretty adoption focused so I think it is only fair that I use it as a place to share my thoughts on starting a second adoption... and there have been a lot of them lately. For whatever reason I don't feel comfortable writing about the everyday joys and struggles of raising Moses on this blog. I'd rather save that for people in my life that I see face to face!
Lately I have been thinking a lot about how badly I want to start another adoption. This honestly surprises me because we haven't even been home a year yet. And I'm still barely getting sleep... but yet I want to add to our family. I just love being a mom and I want to keep the kids coming! lol. Of course in adoption it doesn't usually take 9 months so you really do need to start the process early if you want your children somewhat close in age.
And so the question is.... where?
Although really I feel stuck more on HOW?
How? How will we ever be able to afford a second adoption if we are still paying off the first? Ugh.... I hate money.
When we first started the process to adopt Moses we wanted (well, mostly mike... :)) to adopt
AS YOUNG AS POSSIBLE and Mike also was nervous about adopting from BC, especially the concept of an open-adoption.
Now, we feel so differently! I love it. Now Mike would love to adopt a child under five and has no reservations about adopting in BC and having a relationship with a birth family. I love how once you open your heart up to one thing God will continue to open you up to something more. And with that I believe your life will be so much more full. Anyways, I digress...
So.... basically I am just writing out my thoughts and letting you all know that we are considering a domestic adoption next. Of course we aren't closed to an international adoption at all (we just don't think it is realistic financially). And we are thinking about either adopting a child from foster-care or waiting for the potential of a birth mom choosing us.
Have any of my readers or "lurkers" ever adopted out of birth order? I have lots of questions about adopting a child older than Moses and what that would be like.... please leave me a comment if you have!
Lately I have been thinking a lot about how badly I want to start another adoption. This honestly surprises me because we haven't even been home a year yet. And I'm still barely getting sleep... but yet I want to add to our family. I just love being a mom and I want to keep the kids coming! lol. Of course in adoption it doesn't usually take 9 months so you really do need to start the process early if you want your children somewhat close in age.
And so the question is.... where?
Although really I feel stuck more on HOW?
How? How will we ever be able to afford a second adoption if we are still paying off the first? Ugh.... I hate money.
When we first started the process to adopt Moses we wanted (well, mostly mike... :)) to adopt
AS YOUNG AS POSSIBLE and Mike also was nervous about adopting from BC, especially the concept of an open-adoption.
Now, we feel so differently! I love it. Now Mike would love to adopt a child under five and has no reservations about adopting in BC and having a relationship with a birth family. I love how once you open your heart up to one thing God will continue to open you up to something more. And with that I believe your life will be so much more full. Anyways, I digress...
So.... basically I am just writing out my thoughts and letting you all know that we are considering a domestic adoption next. Of course we aren't closed to an international adoption at all (we just don't think it is realistic financially). And we are thinking about either adopting a child from foster-care or waiting for the potential of a birth mom choosing us.
Have any of my readers or "lurkers" ever adopted out of birth order? I have lots of questions about adopting a child older than Moses and what that would be like.... please leave me a comment if you have!
posted by emily at
12:34 PM
12 Comments:
I love how you guys are considering another one already! It's amazing how can consider another child when you're exhausted and barely making it with one, hey? Looking forward to seeing what you guys decide! (Oh, and Mosey is looking adorable as per usual. Lovin' the socks and the Fall colours!)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Very exciting. I love what you said about when you open yourself up to one thing, God opens the door to something new (and something that we would've never even considered before). So true. I'm excited to see where your journey will take you next...
Lv, Bonnie
We adopted out of birth order and are hoping to do so again one day. The transition (for our family) went very well. I think it all depends on the child (and children at home).
Hope this helps!
This is wonderful that you are considering all your options. I will wait in anticipation of your decisions!
All I can say is that our precious Sara is the best thing that has ever happened to us. Our open adoption has be the most amazing experience and I feel so blessed that Sara's birthfamily is a part of our life - we share a bond with them that is beyond most peoples understanding - just as Sara was made for us, so were they - I could not imagine Sara's adoption any other way.
Let me know if you want to chat.
Thinking of you,
Laura
I have not adopted out of birth order, but have had many friends do it. In a large family, where the oldest is kept the oldest, it can be a great thing. However, in a small family with only one child, it can be extremely challenging. To be very frank, I do not know anyone that had one child, then adopted an older child, who has said it was a good decision in hindsight. Do you have access to an experienced social worker who you can chat with more on these issues?
That's great that you've got adoption #2 sort of in the works! I hope that all goes well. We haven't adopted out of birth order so I can't help you there but we are on the list to start an MCFD adoption through Choices in Victoria. I think that an open adoption would be wonderful. :) Good luck to you and your family,
Courtney
You guys are awesome! And although I have no input on adopting a child older than your first, I can only imagine that no matter the age- each child will only be a better person because they will have learned to love, accept and embrace one another. Kids don't know age or race- so Moses might think this is how the world works! Be interesting if you later adopt a child younger than him.... anyways you three have our family's enthusiasm and well wishes.
We are fostering to adopt two boys in Alberta and I'll be honest, it has significant drawbacks. We have two boys and the process has already taken over 2.5 years with our oldest.... if you are interested in knowing more I'd prefer to email you than to post it here.... let me know!
I appreciate your thoughts of adopting again. We are in the process of a second adoption from Ethiopia.
We spoke to our social worker and agency about adopting children older than our first (who is age 2) and we were immediately discouraged to do that. It seems to be a huge no, no with adoption workers. They were quite blunt with us and didn't even want to go there. We were open to it, but it seems adoption professionals won't allow it, at least around here.
However, we asked the same question if we were to foster. Would they allow us to bring an older child into the family, and they said yes. Go figure!
I have heard of a few families who have adopted out of birth order and it has worked out fine.
Explore your options and do your research.
weird, I just found this post tonight! for some reason I missed it....
interesting thoughts and comments, although I look forward to you giving me more insider info as your friends have been reluctant to post details here, which I completely understand :)
I lurk, and click from Bonnies blog to take a peek at your adoption journey.
We have four children of our own and are prayerfully considering domestic adoption in the future. I used to hesitate at adopting a child older than our oldest so I was curious to see the comments.
I don't think Moses is old enough to feel resentment or strong memories of "losing" his title of oldest. What toddler wouldnt rejoice in gaining an older brother or sister? He is at the perfect age for that. Children accept what is presented to them at an early age, as normal. He will be going from only to one of two so I doubt the transition would be any less or more difficult than if you adopted a younger sibling. The "me mine me me me" stage doesn't care if the sibling is older or younger... trust me ;)
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